maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
