Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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