im six kinds of drunk right now
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Randomize