So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
