i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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