I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
