I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
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