She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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