Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
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