he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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