im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Randomize
