and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
