i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
