Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
