I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Randomize
