I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
sex in a hospital.. check
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
