Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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