i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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