dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
