I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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