It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Randomize