i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
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