she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
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Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
This is classic penis vs brain.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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