Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
