I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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