It's just like the Real World with babies
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
