and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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