I think I just saw someone hide a body.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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