I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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