hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
