How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
