I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
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