I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Randomize
