some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
