Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
