oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
So much Jack, so little girl.
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