did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
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