In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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