Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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