Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Even my vagina gasped.
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We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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