i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
