I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
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Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
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He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
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