I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
