OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
