I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
