a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
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