His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
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I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
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I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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