Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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