On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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