All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
