Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Randomize
