My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize