I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
