Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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