It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
